My THANKFUL THURSDAY!!

I just wanted to write down some things I am just so thankful right now in my life. It helps me to remember it could always be worse then it is.

1. I am so thankful that through these really tough times the past few months I have let God back into my life.

2. I am thankful for my great and loving family, who has grown leaps and bounds through the tough times. Praying together at dinner, talking more, letting them see the love that is truly there for us all.

3. I am thankful for a husband who loves me no matter what and will stick by me through thick and thin.

4. I am thankful for the angels that have watched over us, and had made it so that I have not lost my home, or had utilities shut off for long.

5. I am thankful that I have released some poisonous relationships and feel better knowing that their drama, and their lies, and their deceit and ugliness is no longer my problem.

6. I am thankful for finding a doctor that has been helping Jacob with his allergies/asthma, and horrible eczema. HE is smart and knowledgeable and we found him at the right time and the right moment it was meant to be.

7. I am thankful for my mother who even though she is going through a rough patch has been there to support me. Not financially but spiritually, and through her love for me and my family.

8. I am thankful for all the wonderful friends I have who have been a great support through all the bad times lately. That have been my rock when I felt I was going to crumble. Especially my bestest Veny with out whom I don't know if I could have as much clarity and love for others with out.

9. I am thankful for all the new friends I have met over the months and the close bonds that I know I will keep for many moons to come.

Thanks for reading these, I could probably go on and on but....I should leave some for next weeks. :)

Wow, it really has been forever!

Life sure has been a roller coaster lately. Jeff my dh and I are fabulous a huge shift has happened between us, and we both couldn't be any happier with our relationship. Well, little things but nothing major like before. After writing the last post I really wanted some time to think about the woman and wife I was being. Like my father in law said "I am not a bitch." I am not, I was a woman who was very insecure, and didn't feel like she had trust in her marriage. Now, that I trust Jeff 100% my wall is down, my insecurities I think will always be in the back of my mind but, they are mine nothing that Jeff has ever done has given me any right to think or not trust him with my heart. I have been really good, opening up to his friends becoming friends with them. Not getting upset when he wants to go out and hang with some friend. Like tonight he is going out with a friend to the brewery something he did as well last week, and I am completely fine with it. No jealousy or anger or resentment. I know that he needs those friendships as much as I need my dear friends. Thanks for all the honest responses, sometimes it is easier to hear that I am overreacting or that I am not alone in the way I feel sometimes. Man I have missed blogging. I need to get back into it, it makes me feel so much better.

I want to change but how???

So I have this problem and honestly I don't know how to change. Maybe some of you if you read this can give me some insight. I am a bitch yes, you heard that right. I treat my husband really bad, and I don't want to. I treat him like a kid, and some may laugh and make the joke he is my 5Th child but...Well, I want a husband not a 5Th child. I have this horrible need to be right, at any cost. I mean I sometimes don't even really listen to what I say, I just need to be right even if I am wrong. If my dh doesn't agree with me, I make him out to be the bad guy, I don't really know why. He gives me so much room to do what i want and to be with my friends or my mom whenever I want to. If he wants to go somewhere or go out for some reason i give him the third degree like he has to have a really good reason to want to be away. I know see I am a bitch. I really hate this about myself. I used to be so sweet, and i don't say that to brag I just know I was. I felt so much love all the time, and happy most of the time. Now I just feel anger and hurt if he doesn't want to spend all his extra time with me. My SIL gave me some great advice and yet I am not sure I can look at it the way she does. She says ask yourself do you wanna be happy or do you wanna be right? Do I wanna be right to the point of chancing losing my love?

I love my husband and honestly losing him would kill me. I just for myself want to change. I am not happy being this mean person. At the same time how do I fight the urge to be right? Really how do I fight it? I am stubborn no doubt but why oh why do I have this burning need to be right, or win the fight every time? I'm sure that makes me sound crazy but, it is the controller in me I want to let go of I TRULY DO!

Girls Night Out!

Oh it was so much fun one of my close friends had a Pure Romance Party last night and wow, we had a blast. We drank Martini's and CareJewels (a drink my friends made up) I had so much fun. It was so great to be out, and hang with friends that I have not been with in forever and just feel like me. I was not a mom even if we did mention our kids a few times, I was not a wife well yes, I was since I was buying things to spice up our love life. I was just "Moriah" , it felt good I had women who I had just met tell me how nice I was and how I was so fun to hang with. That made me so happy. I love my girlfriends and sometimes life just gets away and I don't get out as much as I should. I am so very lucky to have an amazing group of women in my life, and that I know are truly my friends and will be for many years to come. I am lucky to have a husband who sees what an important role my friends play in my life, and he gives me so many opportunities to be with them and for that I am such a truly blessed gal. I have some pics that I will be posting up this week from the party, I just want to get some permission from the ladies first. Have a great Sunday all you!
~Moriah~

Down 24.5 LBS!!!

Yes, I am down 24.5 lbs. I am so beyond excited, this has been a hard 24 lbs. I am so proud of myself and of my determination. I usually go on diets and lose weight that is not a problem honestly it's sticking to something and well even with stopping and starting again about 3 times since Nov 1st. I now feel and know just because I don't do good every day or eat the right foods or work out, tomorrow is a new day. It's awesome I can really see myself doing this for the rest of my life YAY!!!

Why can't people just be happy with what they have?

Why is it in our society these days is no one happy with what they have? I mean why was it years and years ago people were just happy with having food on the table, and a roof over their heads? Now we all want the best and newest techno thing out there. I mean my family is a great example for that. We can't afford it but my husband insists on us having the new game systems out there. I mean we have everyone out there. Like somehow the newer one is going to bring much more joy to our life's then the last. I do admit for a short time it does bring us joy, but that time is short lived. If we could afford it I know he would want a boat, and trips everywhere and anything else that money could buy like that can give us joy. I guess I kind of don't feel like I live in that same frame of mind. I am grateful that I have food on the table the kids are clothed, and they get to do extra activities. I would rather have family vacations, time spent wisely and with lots of love, and lots of joy then ITEMS!
My kids ask me a lot why we don't go places or do things like a lot of their friends. The kids go to a school that well lets just say it the families are all very well off. My response to them is we have a dad that works very hard for what we have and if we wanted he could be gone as much as most of their friends dads are and go places and have THINGS. I say "isn't it nicer to have a daddy who provides just enough for us, and can also be home when we need him?" I really try to instill in my kids to be successful in life does not mean that you have to make a ton of money. That you can work hard for your money but also have time to raise a family or be in a family.
Maybe this really doesn't make any sense but, I just get annoyed by the world deciding that you aren't successful if you can't afford all the things that people see as SUCCESS.

THANKFUL THRUSDAY

My friend Toni @ A Daily Dose of Toni Started this last week and I like it it is talking about my annoyances but then turning it into a positive as well. So here goes.

1. I am annoyed that my husband won't listen to what I am really saying and gets all defensive and shuts off I am thankful however that I have a husband who tho he doesn't listen does love me.

2. I am annoyed that there are people out there who don't have to work out or watch what they eat and lose weight. I am thankful that my body does allow me to be able to work out and that I am losing weight no matter how slow going it is.

3. I am annoyed that my kids make my house a mess no matter what I say to them. I am thankful that I was able to have my children and that they do give me great joy as well.

4. I am annoyed that Jeff hurt his shoulder and has been home for the last 2 months. I am thankful that he had the surgery and is getting better and with god's grace still has a job to go back to.

5. I am annoyed that when I give people an inch they take a mile. I guess all I can say to be thankful for is that I do have people in my life who don't do that.

6. I am annoyed that sometimes I am just not enough for some. I am thankful for those people that I am just enough.

7. I am annoyed that I let my life get so out of hand, and gain so much weight and lose who I was. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to change those things within my life and myself that I do not like.